Thursday, April 17, 2008

If J.K. can do it, so can I

Unless you’ve been studying potions at Hogwarts, you’ve heard the news that J.K. Rowling is suing the wannabe publisher of The Harry Potter Lexicon, an encyclopedia of all things Potter.

She says it’s copyright infringement. I wonder why the cease-and-desist order didn’t come sooner, when the encyclopedia was on line. Sounds more like a case of muggle money to me.

But I digress. What really struck me about this case was her saying that the lawsuit has "decimated [her] creative work over the last month" and that she has stopped working on a new novel.

Now that got me thinking. If J.K. can do it, so can I. I’m going to file a lawsuit against the forces of evil—my creative Death Eaters, if you will—that prevent me from finishing my novel too.

To my children, Gabe and DJ, consider yourselves served. Rearing the two of you has truly decimated my creative work. And we’re not talking one month here, we’re talking eight years!

To my husband, Ian, consider yourself served too. If you hadn’t persued that “hot new career opportunity,” I wouldn’t have tabled my manuscript to freelance for the last ten months.

I could go on. Suing people, I mean. My mother, who wants me to stop by to see her newly recovered chair. Maybe I’ll even sue my kids’ hamster, Sammy, whose cage needs cleaning again. And don’t even get me started about the dirty dishes in the sink. Note to self: Sue Fiesta Ware.

Maybe if I make enough money suing people, I can be as rich as J.K. some day.

Then I won’t have to worry about not finishing my novel, either.


  1. OOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhh. I smell class action!

    Can I sue the biggest time thief of all -- the internet?

  2. If I sued this blog, would all of you have to pay me?!

    Never mind.

  3. Janice, you're hilarious. Frankly I think this post is publishable-- submit it as an op ed!

  4. Hmmm, could I get a settlement in Webkinz cash?

    Too funny Janice!