Time on My Hands

In September, my youngest child went off to college. It was quite an adjustment for me, more than I ever expected. Suddenly I had time on my hands. Most people would find this to be a blessing. That was not my experience. I found myself wondering how I was going to fill the day. Acquaintances offered their opinions on what I should be doing with my new found time. One suggested volunteering. A very valuable consideration, but there are two non-profit organizations with which I have been involved for more than ten years, so I did not feel the need to find another organization just to volunteer. Another suggested returning to the work force. But I haven't worked in close to 20 years and therefore, am no longer qualified for anything more than being a greeter at Wal-Mart, which holds no appeal. A good friend, who had recently entered the land of empty-nest herself, told me to take my time figuring out what I wanted to do. "Don't rush into anything," she said. "Find something you're passionate about." So I took her advice...

I want to write books for children and young adults. Duh! Didn't I already know that? Yes, and no. Finding myself with time on my hands made me wonder if this was what I was supposed to be doing, or if I should be out in the world doing something REALLY important like cleaning up cat and dog poop at the local animal shelter or directing lost shoppers to special price deals in aisle 7? When I spent day after day starting at a blank Word document I had to ask myself, how can I be a writer if I'm not writing? I came to the point of put up or shut up.

I decided to put up. I decided re-commit myself to my writing. I attended an NJ-SCBWI Workshop which I hoped would light a fire under me and I began searching for ways to improve my writing. The workshop was a success in that it definitely lit a fire. The editor I was paired with was interested in seeing one of my stories after revisions and the critique and first page session gave me new ideas for revising a second story (see my post "A Fine Line" on 2/25). To improve my writing, I decided to apply to the Vermont College of Fine Arts MFA program in Writing for Children and Young Adults. Suddenly, I didn't have so much time on my hands. I had to write two essays for the application and I had two YA manuscripts to revise before sending to editors. Additionally, I had my regular homework to do in the class I am auditing on Medieval Christianity at Drew University (a great experience but the topic for another post).

THEN, with another case of when it rains it pours, an agent kindly rejected my historical YA but expressed interest in my contemporary YA.

In all of this, I discovered something about myself. I work better under pressure. Perhaps not extreme pressure, but certainly with deadlines -- lots of deadlines. Otherwise, I procrastinate to the point of being completely unproductive.

So, in keeping with what I am learning in my Medieval Christianity class, I am undergoing a personal reformation. I am remaking myself - trying to return to my old productive self who wrote everyday, while striving to reinvent myself into the writer I want to be.

Now, having said all this, when you read this I will be sunning myself on board Celebrity's 5-day Caribbean cruise so I might not be able to respond to comments as frequently as I might like. But don't worry, I'm taking a stack of YA's to read and I will be revising my contemporary manuscript, all while drinking fruity umbrella drinks.