Thursday, April 21, 2011

Kickin' It Old School

Hey Paper Waiters! I'm currently soaking up the rays in sunny Florida, but I found this gem in one of my old files and wanted to share it. I don't know who the author of this piece of genius is, so forgive me for not crediting the source - but a writer pal gave this to me about ten years ago...and it STILL stands...maybe even more-so than before. Enjoy!

Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade-named-BOOK.

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It’s so easy to use even a child can operate it. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere—even sitting in an armchair by the fire—yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM.

Here’s how it works: BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder, which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.

Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density; for now, BOOKS with more information simply use more pages.

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it. BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, though, like other devices, it can become damaged if coffee is spilled on it and it becomes unusable if dropped too many times on a hard surface. The “browse” feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an “index” feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional “BOOKmark” accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session—even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOK markers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK.

You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with optional programming tools, Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Styli (PENCILS).

Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. BOOK’s appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to invest. Look for a flood of new titles soon.


  1. Robin,
    Love it - especially the part about pencils.

  2. I've seen this before -- and it's always good for a giggle!

    And Robin, soak up a couple rays for me! I am so sick of rain, rain and more rain.

  3. Wow, I want one! Robin, I hope this posts finds you reading a BOOK on some sunny Florida beach.

  4. Yeah, I love this one! I really wish I could give credit to someone. I remember Alice handing this out at one of our meetings and I kept it because I thought it was so clever. And there weren't even e-readers (way back then, lol)! I think it was sort of an anti-computer technology diatribe.

  5. More than good for a giggle. They've been around for how many years??? Did you see the article on the fact that the arteries in the eyes of children who watch a lot of TV are smaller than normal? Not a chance for this with a genuine, really, truly paper book!