Friday, September 20, 2013

Finding a Mentor


In one-hundred and two days The Promise of Amazing will be out in the world.  Even after all the work I've done on it this past year -the excitement of the sale, the editorial letter, seeing the cover, walking into the HarperCollins offices and trying desperately not to fangirl as I met my editor for the first time, holding a bound galley in my hand- it still seems surreal.  To put it in perspective, last year at this time I was busy polishing up the final draft to send to my agent.  In my wildest dreams I could never have predicted the route my manuscript has taken.  There are people who sell their novels and have to wait a few years before ever seeing it in print. I know I'm one of the lucky ones, and I never take that for granted.

I should be cracking open the bubbly, eating dark chocolate truffles and propping my feet up, right?

Ha! What I really feel like I should be doing is wearing a shirt that reads "Sorry if I'm acting like a jackass, I have a book coming out in three months".  

I've been cranky.  And self centered.  And worried I talk about the book too much, or not enough.  That I'm doing everything wrong and at some point someone is going to catch up to me and say this has all been a mistake.  If someone asks me about the book, I'm suddenly mute and evasive.  If someone doesn't ask me about the book, I wonder why.  My new WIP is pissing me off.  I'd really like to go to Target.  Or make a dent in my TBR pile. In the words of Jacobim Mugatu in Zoolander:

 "I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"

The other day I had a misunderstanding with a friend.  He said something about the book, and I took it the wrong way.  It hurt me. Not because I'm some special debut snowflake but because I have certain expectations of my friends and I felt like this crossed a line. (kind of a love me, love my book situation)  Rationally, I knew he didn't mean anything by what he said but I still felt like he should have been more sensitive about it.  I was feeling really weird about the whole thing, wondering if I'm just extra sensitive in light of many of the events in my personal life this year. Then I realized I'm not the first person to ever have a book coming out, that maybe I just needed someone to talk to, a mentor, and suss out if what I'm feeling is normal or if it was time for me to self-medicate with a large dose of chocolate and The Vampire Diaries.  I prayed for words of wisdom.

Not one hour later, I stumbled across a tweet from one of my favorite authors, Anne Lamott, and then to this link to a post she had written on Facebook.   I nearly cried with relief.   The words I needed to hear at just the time I needed to hear them.   It truly felt like an answered prayer.  Her post made me laugh, and most importantly laugh at myself, which is always a good thing.  I felt lighter, better. 

It's so important, at every stage in our careers, to have a mentor.  Whether it's someone you can truly talk to or a passage in a book or a post on the internet -  hearing those right words at the right time can make all the difference.   Who do you turn to?  Any words of writing wisdom that you really love and have made a difference to you?   Please, share!!


18 comments:

  1. I've had some great conversations w/my critique partner, where we commiserate over writing issues, and it's always nice to have someone else 'get it'. As my husband certainly does not! =) Congrats on your soon to be out there book!

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    1. Thanks, Leandra! CPs are sooooo important. I know I definitely wouldn't be here without a supportive number of CPs who always had the right thing to say!!

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  2. I love Anne Lamott -- and her Facebook posts. And most of all, I love all of the brave published authors who share their insecurities and fears.

    Every time I read or hear an author confide that with every book, they doubt their abilities, I want to hug them.

    Hugs to you, Robin -- it's going to be great!

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  3. *hugs* right back at ya!! My sister mentioned Harlan Coben on the Today show, pretty much said 'I'm always worried this one will be a total failure' - I think he may have sounded more eloquent, but that was the gist of it whenever he has a book coming out. Definitely nice to know...although maybe not - this feeling never quite goes away does it??

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  4. Robin,

    Loved the countdown...What other experiences have led to a countdown? How did you handle them? What worked? What didn't. Ask others the same thing.

    I haven't been visiting the posts here for quite a while due to my husband's poor health, but I'm getting back into the groove again now that he is improving. I'm thankful on so many levels.

    I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling like a bundle of nerves in the midst of all this excitement and joy. You might want to consider journaling about it. Maybe you could turn this experience into a self help book for those going through the same thing once you've made it through. Or maybe you're like me when people say, "You could write a book about your experiences." I respond, "But it's not the book I want to write." How about you?

    Congratulations on your upcoming novel. I'm very happy for you. You made it to this point and you can make it through it too! Wishing you all the best!

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    1. Linda,
      So sorry to hear about your husband's illness and glad to hear he is improving! The whole ride to publication has been a roller coaster - I'm happy one moment and then despairing the next. In the meantime I want to write!! The writing and trying to improve in my craft is something I won't get tired of - the other stuff around it, is a necessary component and one I'm trying to embrace. You know who I'm most worried about reading my book? People who know me, my neighbors, my family, etc. mainly for the reason I said above. It's part of the reason I keep my writing life separate from my personal life, but the worlds will collide whether I want them to or not!! I think I may need some chocolate, lol. Thanks for the congrats!! Hope to see you at some of our local SCBWI events!

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    2. Thanks for the reply, Robin. I can't make it to the SCBWI-C this year. I do hope to get back at some point. Keep your head up. You have what it takes!

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  5. Loved Anne Lamott's post!

    You'll get through this, Robin! Just think - you're part of select crowd: The Pre-Pub Nervous Nellies. And Anne Lamott shares your anxiety!

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    1. Well dear friend, you are also one I turn to in times like these!!
      That's a nifty way to think of this :) I guess this anxiety is not something you think about when you are sending your manuscript around...we're so conditioned to rejection that you don't realize that there can be a fear of your work being 'out there' as well. But I know I'm pretty lucky too!! It's a strange balancing act but one, yes, I guess I love.

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  6. I hear you, Robin. Especially on the self-consciousness of trying to avoid being either a bore or a cagey mute about the fact that you have a book coming out. I ran into an old acquaintance today whom I hadn't seen or spoken to in years. She asked me if I was still making lampshades (something I used to do for $$), I said. "Um. No. Not lately." Then I had to just sort of hang there for a long moment before I could make myself tell her that I'd been doing a lot of writing, and then it took me ANOTHER long moment to say, "I've got a book coming out." I've definitely had the opposite experience as well! Where I felt like I'm just jabbing the news into the conversation, like a starving person wielding a toothpick near a canape.

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  7. This is SO me right now - with less than 2 months to pub left, I'm kind of my own freak-out show. I guess we can just hang in there together! Love this post!
    Hugs!

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    1. Cannot wait for Olivia Twisted!! I think that's been my mantra all through this month!! (and next month too)

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  8. Wonderful post (Anne Lamont's wasn't so bad either). You are amazing. Your book is amazing. You will survive this, I know, because you have another book to write! And one after that, and one after that, and one after that …

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  9. Your book looks AMAZING! Love the post :) Whenever I need a boost, I pick up Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. So I'd say, he's my mentor (even if he doesn't know it). ROCK on, Robin! Can't wait to read your book(s)!

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