Day One Drama

A few days ago I started a new book. This isn't something I do often, as I write novels for the most part, and I can only juggle a couple at a time. So, day one of a new book is a big day. By which I mean, a bad day. Most writers would agree that rewriting is far easier than writing. But when you're starting a book, there's nothing to build on, nothing to improve, just a blank page.

So, that first line of the book, after all the research has been done and the noodling around with plotlines, and the various windy treatments, how do you do it? For me, it's akin to jumping off a cliff, which I haven't actually done, but I assume it feels the same. You stand on the edge for awhile, terrified, and then, knowing you have to do it, close your eyes and jump. In many ways this sounds easier than writing that first paragraph. Because more often than not what happens is that I dive into the writing, hoping and praying that something worth salvaging will emerge, and nothing does. The first attempts are awful and get erased immediately, leaving me with nothing, once again.

And then the self-flaggelating sets in. But since I've played this game with myself many times, I know somewhere deep inside it's all part of my perverse process, so I go back to the computer and try again. Eventually I craft a tiny foothold, a sentence or two that work, and from there I am able to claw my way forward. I know this all sounds very dramatic, but the truth is, that's the way it feels. I can't imagine I'm alone here.