A Tale of Two Revisions

Last year I submitted one of my retold noodlehead folktales to an editor at a magazine I've been published in before. I've had good luck with my retellings of stories about fools - young readers love to say, "I know better than that!"

The editor, who was about to retire, sent back a cordial note saying it was "a funny idea," but the plot lost suspense early on because the reader could guess this fool would never find the possessions he was looking for. She also couldn't believe the fool could be SO clueless he wouldn't recognize his lost property when he saw it. She offered to have me resubmit.

I set about revising the plot to fix the suspense problem. When I resubmitted to a different editor, I got back a nice note saying she found the story "interesting . . . but a bit depressing." The fool in this revision still searched all day for his missing property and never found it, and I had belabored his long walks in the hot sun. As often happens in revising, you fix one thing and ruin another. I hadn't paid attention to the tone of the story. The light, foolish touch had disappeared and at the end the fool is resigned to his loss, which leaves the reader feeling gloomy. The editor was right. It was a downer. I e-mailed and asked whether she would be willing to see a revision. Lucky for me, she said yes.

In my second revision, I carefully balanced plot and tone - the fool still faces some hardship searching for the lost property he never finds - but I shortened and lightened the descriptions. Most importantly, the ending now has a humorous twist. The fool, rather than being resigned to his loss, is hopeful. He has a plan to solve his problem. This plan elicits smiles, for even the youngest reader will see his foolish plan won't work.

And how does this blog tale end? I sold the story and have renewed respect for the tricky mechanics of revision. Now that's not foolish!