But do I still want to?
This is the thirteenth day of the month. I think I've written something on this NaNo project on 11 of those days. But so far, I've only enjoyed two writing days -- the first day, when I got to write my new beginning, set up my inciting incident and unveil it, and today, when I pretended I had written nothing else since then.
You see, I am totally sure that just about everything I've written between November 2 and today is pure, unusable crap.
And I'm okay with that.
I'm okay with using NaNo as a writing exercise. I'm okay with never looking at it again. I'm okay with deleting the file. That is correct -- I could delete all 50,000 words (assuming I finish) and never regret it. I've killed my darlings before. I'm prepared to slaughter these.
I still love my idea. And despite my crappy writing, I'm getting to know more about my characters. And the scene I wrote this morning, where my MC stared at the pink smudge of nail polish on the dashboard and remembered her sister's pedi on the drive to the beach -- that told me I was getting to know them. That was specific. I love specific.
So from now on, I'm forgetting about writing as I usually do, one chapter after another. I plan to pick a moment in time on my MC's journey and write it. And I plan to be specific about at least one thing.
And when I'm done with NaNo, I'll compile those specific things into a bible, and then I'll start all over again. I won't care about those 50,000 words, but I'll make sure they weren't a waste of time. I'll make sure I dig for specifics.
The funny thing about writing unusable pages it that I can never do it knowingly. That is- at the time I am writing the work has to seem worthy to me. Of course a lot of it turns out to not be so with a bit (or a lot) of distance.
ReplyDeleteBrava for braving this.
Mirka, I think part of my NaNo problem is being too literal about just writing away -- getting all those words down. I often write 2000 words in one sitting and am happy with what I accomplish. The difference is, I am more thoughtful about what I write. I write a paragraph and think about it -- tinker with it -- figure out what should come next before I write again. With NaNo, I am just writing without thinking.
DeleteAs the (randomly chosen) winner of Nathan Bransford's recent contest, Lela Gwenn, said "Write. Write poorly, but WRITE."
ReplyDeleteIf those little specifics last, then it will be worth it?
I've written my share of eventually deleted words. I hope the specific one stick.
DeleteI've never "won" Nano, and the thought of being a slave to word count kind of gives me hives. But...
ReplyDeleteGrayson Barrett was 'born' during NanoWrimo. He had a different name, and a slightly different set of circumstances - I'd been writing a sequel to a novel that never sold. But there was something about this character that stayed with me. I'm a firm believer of a writing compost pile of sorts. And yes, it's a great way to get to know your characters!! Love what you've learned already, sounds like a good one!!
So happy birthday to Grayson! I'm officially inspired!
DeleteI remember being a slave to word count when I was an editor. That was hard enough!
DeleteYes, I was thinking that in, say, a pile of "crap" 50 pages written during NANO, maybe there is a character or plot point that winds up being used somewhere else. As you did, Robin. I'll have to look up the "compost" term again - I think I saw it in one of Natalie Goldberg's books.
DeleteI wasn't able to make it through Nanowrimo last year with 50,000 words, but it did spark ideas. I think of it like practice. You have to practice almost anything to get better, and even if you don't think you're getting better, you usually are. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteYup -- agreed. But I need to add thought to the rush for words. Too many tangents leading nowhere.
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